What prosperity means to me now

At the start of my exploration of “Prosperity”, my vague ideas and attitude towards prosperity expanded and supported me to define clearly what prosperity means to me.  Insight and understanding doesn’t happen overnight.  This is why a 40-day dedicated practice on a certain theme is important.  The keys to success are taking the necessary time and taking the necessary action.

I spent the first decade of my adult life working my butt off at 2 jobs to save enough money to clear my student loan and save for a down payment for a house – that’s what we were all taught to do.  On graduation we are supposed to settle down, get a good job, get married, buy a house and live happily after, right?  The focus was on getting ahead and material accumulation.

I spent the next 2 decades of my life paying off a mortgage and buying all the things I thought I “deserved” since I worked so hard for them.  The majority of my money still went into saving for that rainy day and for my daughter’s education.  In my 30’s I became a single Mom, losing a substantial part of my assets in the process. What the hell was all that hard work for?  

By the time I reached my 40’s, I realized that my life was all about supporting these “things” I had accumulated.  I was not deriving any “joy” from owning all this stuff.  It felt like the stuff owned me.  At the time I was living “the high life” with my second husband but felt empty inside.  None of the things that were supposed to make me feel successful or give me happiness made any sense to me.  Yes, I experienced a brief moment of “satisfaction” whenever I bought something, but it never brought me lasting joy.  At this time, I realized that money was only a means to an end.  It was not the answer to all my problems. 

I began the second half of my life getting rid of all the things I had spent the first half of my life accumulating! The second half of my life began with shedding everything I had spent the first half accumulating—some of it “mindlessly”. The irony was not lost on me! Painful relationship patterns resurfaced, forcing me to confront the deep-seated blocks and limiting beliefs I held about money. Each of my three husbands became an unintentional yet powerful teacher, shaping the lessons I was destined to learn.

Now I see that prosperity means so much more than having enough or more than enough money.  Prosperity encompasses money but also health and my relationships.  Prosperity means what gives me happiness.  What makes me feel fulfilled, satisfied and proud?

What/where do I see “happiness” operating in my life?  

Money and “stuff” never made me happy.  The things that make me happy are good relationships.  I am proud of the good relationships I have created after having to go through a lot of suffering before I was able to define what a good relationship means to me.  I had to get rid of excess baggage, hangers on, toxic relationships, people who pretended to be my friends, one-way relationships – what can you do for me?  

Now I ask myself these questions to define whether or not I am in a good relationship:  is there mutual caring?  Is there mutual respect?  Is there authentic communication with that person?  Are there any hidden agendas?  Is there trust and honesty?  Is there good give and take (I don’t mean tit for tat)?  Is there balance?  Do I feel ‘taken advantage of?  Am I taking advantage of anyone?  I seek to have balance and reciprocity in my relationships now.

In what way am I different from before my practice? 

Having a broader but clearer definition of prosperity has encouraged deeper questions and taking action on the things that cause me worry.  I have always had a “poverty mindset” which created a lot of background anxiety.  

Being able to sit down and get a clear picture of my financial circumstances made me feel so much more in control of my finances and my life, thus eliminating a lot of unnecessary worry.  I have people I trust (prosperity!) enough to expose my financial information to who can support my desire to have fun and play with money and not be fearful of it, to let go of a lot of subconscious blocks to money which I inherited and was conditioned by through my family, religion, and by society.

Being able to reach out to the right people and to have a support system in place for me to live a prosperous life has made me see my life with a different lens.  They allow me to enjoy my rich, juicy life and to feel grateful for what I have instead of being anxious about “do I have enough”.

How have my relationships changed?  

I choose to have more authentic relationships and have set a litmus test to see who is deserving of my generosity, my kindness and my good heart.  I have learned to be more discerning as I drop my “poverty mindset” of not being good enough or smart enough or deserving enough to have a rich, juicy life.  The suffering I went through, the judgments I was subjected to (both my own and others), the pressure to conform to my jumbled idea of what prosperity is and the courage that it took for me to walk away from the people, places and situations that did not serve me would not have happened if I did not have good relationships, good guides and people who genuinely cared for me.  

Have my ideas about wealth changed?  How have they changed?  

Previously wealth for me meant having enough money to live, not just survive.  Now money for me is simply energy.  I am learning to get into the flow of this energy to support my clear definition of prosperity and to use this energy to help others.  Prosperity for me means being of service.  How can I serve others if I cannot even look after myself?

In my single-minded pursuit to make sure I had enough “money”, I missed seeing the wealth that surrounded me – people who love me, people who were Good Samaritans to me, the beauty that surrounds me in Nature, small things that bring me happiness, like a sudden smell of baking, noticing a beautiful flower, seeing an animal and “feeling” their personality, seeing them enjoy the present moment, having someone cook a meal for me, sharing a meal with good conversation – so much wealth all around me – mine for the asking and for the receiving…

What have I realized in terms of my health?  Have I made a specific goal about my health?

In terms of my health, I have always looked after myself.  I do not want to slide into decrepitude.  I want to be able to have full use of my body till I die.  I do not want to die sick and old.  I would like to go quietly and peacefully in my sleep.  I do not want to become dependent on all kinds of  prescription drugs, full time care or machinery.  I would like to enjoy as much of the use of my body that is healthy and reasonable as I age and to be pain free.

I have made a goal to maintain a gentle age-appropriate physical practice each day as part of my Sadhana (my personal spiritual practice) which not only supports me in my physical body but more importantly in my emotions and my spirit.  

After almost dying from a ruptured appendix, I vowed to build my body back after major surgery. I endured a few years of not being able to walk properly and to move without pain, almost all my hair fell out (that was truly scary but led me to another insight about myself) and made me truly appreciate and understand what it means to live in gratitude.

If you are keen to dive deeper into how prosperity shows up for you in your life, CLICK HERE for information on my 6-week online course Prosperity Unleashed.